Secrets of Confident people
At first glance, confidence may seem like something you are born with or something that you inherit from your parents. This is not surprising because confident people have confident children. Yet, this thought could not be further from the truth.
Children don’t inherit confidence from their parents; they learn from them. Most of this process is unconscious and that is why it may seem like it is inherited. Yet, you can still learn confidence by practicing certain habits that uplift your confidence level. In this article, I will outline habits that will enhance your confidence level. By doing these every day you too will improve your confidence. Before that, it is important to point out the difference between confidence and overconfidence.
What is real confidence?
You may have come across people who keep boasting about their achievements or criticize others constantly. One may look at this behavior and think that they are confident people because it takes guts to say the things that they say. But in reality, both of these qualities are associated with overconfidence. It is a defense against insecurity.
Yes, it is those who are insecure that boast or criticize others unnecessarily. It is the same with anger. You may think a person who gets angry often is confident. But in reality, they cannot handle the difference in opinion as they feel threatened by it. For more information see my article: Signs of insecurity.
Real confident people
- Listen to other people’s opinions and respect them.
- Are comfortable talking about their achievements but they do not overdo it.
- Praise other people’s achievements
- Are assertive.
- They do not hesitate to say sorry.
- Are willing to accept and correct their mistakes.
- They are not willing to listen to other people’s opinions.
- Bring up their achievements every chance they get
- Dismiss or find fault with other people’s achievements.
- Get angry when other people do not agree with them.
- Never accept their mistakes.
- They never apologize.
9 ways to Look and feel confident.
#1 Pay attention to your looks
Have you ever looked in the mirror after getting ready for a special occasion and felt that you looked good? Did that make you a little bit proud? It usually does. When you are dressed well and looking good you feel a little more confident. So dressing well and taking care of the way you look makes a huge impact on your confidence level. Try to pay attention to your looks whether you are at home, going to the grocery store, working or partying.
Of course, it is important to dress for the occasion. but, that does not mean that you can’t dress well and groom yourself regardless of the occasion. This means wearing clean clothes and having your hair combed even if you are at home.
If you spill something on yourself you might be tempted to keep wearing it because no one else is at home. But, changing it makes a hell of a difference when it comes to confidence. Can you see where I am going with this? Make sure that you do not go overboard to the extent that you feel stressed when it comes to looking good. Just make small adjustments that will make you feel a little more confident.
#2 Be organized
This is very similar to the previous point. Just like your looks your surroundings matter too. You can’t be in a dirty messed up environment and feel confident. Therefore it is important to make sure that your surroundings are neat and tidy.
This does not mean you have to go overboard and color code everything. It just means that you should have a place for everything and after using it you should make sure to return it to the right place. Keep your place clean. Even making the place smell good using an air freshener can help. Your surroundings affect your mental state and you cannot feel confident if your mental state is not at the best.
#3 Surround yourself with confident people
In the introduction, I mentioned something about kids of confident people being confident too. Most people think that it is genetic. But in reality, it is more than genetics. It happens because they are surrounded by people who are confident from very early in life. If you take this child out of this environment and let him grow up among insecure people he will struggle to be confident regardless of his genetics.
Surrounding yourself with confident people helps to develop your confidence at any age. A part of this process is to disassociate from insecure people as much as possible. If they are family this might be a problem. But you can still reduce the time you spend with them.
#4 Let go of perfectionism
Confident people never worry about making mistakes. They are not afraid of criticism. Therefore, they do not try to make things perfect.
This comes from knowing that you are worthwhile and you do not have to impress anyone. It is this kind of Mindset that allows people to be confident. It is the same reason they don’t try to be perfect. Instead, they do their best and accept the results.
If you find yourself trying to be perfect, try doing something imperfectly on purpose. Start with small things like cleaning your house and work your way up to more important things.
Related article: 10 reasons why perfectionism is the dumbest standard on earth
#5 Know your worth
One of the major reasons that you do not feel confident is because you do not feel worthwhile. Because of this, you may let other people treat you with disrespect. You may be afraid that if you speak up for yourself you will lose a friend. But the truth is people like people who like themselves. So if you don’t like yourself letting them walk all over you will not help. You will just end up feeling “taken advantage of”.
So to improve your self-worth use affirmations like “I am enough”, ” I am worthwhile” and “I deserve to be loved and respected”. Pick one you like and say it to yourself throughout the day. After about 3 months of doing this, you will witness a difference in your confidence.
#6 Love yourself
The feeling that you are loved, is a huge part of your self-worth. As we already discussed self-worth plays a crucial role in your confidence level. Therefore it is important for you to feel loved. The best way to make this happen is to treat yourself with the same love and affection that you expect from others.
So, if you don’t like others criticizing you in a mean way do not criticize yourself in such a way. If you like to hear other people telling you that they love you make sure you tell yourself that a few times a day. These small changes can have a significant effect on your level of confidence.
#7 Treat yourself with respect
This goes hand in hand with the previous point. Everyone would like to be respected as well as loved. So don’t wait till others treat you with respect. Treat yourself with respect.
Have You ever witnessed one of your co-workers becoming more confident and proud after a promotion? That is because that position demands respect. And when you are treated with respect your confidence will increase.
Therefore, it is important that you do not talk to yourself in a disrespectful way. If you have the habit of keeping promises you made to people you respect then make sure that you keep the promises you made to yourself as well.
They say that you show other people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. So make sure that you treat yourself with respect. When you do, it will increase your confidence level and you will look and feel more confident.
#8 Be willing to Accept your mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone is willing to accept that they do. People don’t like liars. So when someone pretends that what they did was not a mistake then people are not going to like that person. You are not going to like what you did either. What happens next is you are going to force yourself to be perfect and not make any mistakes. However, you are only human. You will make a mistake. Then you will berate yourself for doing so. And every time you do so you are going to lose respect for yourself followed by the confidence you have in yourself.
Let’s consider the opposite scenario. When you make a mistake, accept it and apologize for it people are going to see you in a better light than if you denied it. The majority of people are going to treat you with understanding and that will help you feel better about yourself.
Let me illustrate this point with a political example. Every time President Trump is accused of sexual misconduct or any other mistake it turns into a big scandal. This is because he always denies it even when there is irrefutable proof. Now contrast this with the time when former governor Lucy Flores accused former vice president Joe Biden of sexual abuse. Although Biden did say he did not remember the incident he added that if he was in the wrong he would be willing to listen. The scandal died down quickly.
#9 Practice self-care
We have already established that treating yourself with love and respect breeds confidence. What better way to love and respect yourself than self-care?
When you care about someone you want the best for that person. You make time for that person and you take care of that person. This is exactly how you should treat yourself. Make time to take care of yourself. Take time to relax.